| What better time to read Akhmatova: |
[29 Nov 2009|03:01am] |
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mood |
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Longcat is longing. |
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"White Night" by Anna Akhmatova
I haven't locked the door, Nor lit the candles, You don't know, don't care, That tired I haven't the strentgh
To decide to go to bed. Seeing the fields face in The sunset murk of pine-needles, And to know all is lost,
That life is a cursed hell: I've got drunk On your voice in the doorway. I was sure you'd come back.
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[23 Nov 2009|02:02pm] |
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[21 Nov 2009|12:14pm] |
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[17 Nov 2009|11:49pm] |
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[16 Nov 2009|12:58am] |
Of course of course of course.
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Probably time to go sleep now by by.
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[15 Nov 2009|02:03pm] |
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[13 Nov 2009|11:59am] |
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[12 Nov 2009|10:31pm] |
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| A Magic Mountain by Czesław Miłosz |
[11 Nov 2009|08:26pm] |
I don’t remember exactly when Budberg died, it was either two years ago or three. The same with Chen. Whether last year or the one before. Soon after our arrival, Budberg, gently pensive, Said that in the beginning it is hard to get accustomed, For here there is no spring or summer, no winter or fall.
“I kept dreaming of snow and birch forests. Where so little changes you hardly notice how time goes by. This is, you will see, a magic mountain.”
Budberg: a familiar name in my childhood. They were prominent in our region, This Russian family, descendants of German Balts. I read none of his works, too specialized. And Chen, I have heard, was an exquisite poet, Which I must take on faith, for he wrote in Chinese.
Sultry Octobers, cool Julys, trees blossom in February. Here the nuptial flight of hummingbirds does not forecast spring. Only the faithful maple sheds its leaves every year. For no reason, its ancestors simply learned it that way.
I sensed Budberg was right and I rebelled. So I won’t have power, won’t save the world? Fame will pass me by, no tiara, no crown? Did I then train myself, myself the Unique, To compose stanzas for gulls and sea haze, To listen to the foghorns blaring down below?
Until it passed. What passed? Life. Now I am not ashamed of my defeat. One murky island with its barking seals Or a parched desert is enough To make us say: yes, oui, si. "Even asleep we partake in the becoming of the world.” Endurance comes only from enduring. With a flick of the wrist I fashioned an invisible rope, And climbed it and it held me.
What a procession! Quelles délices! What caps and hooded gowns! Most respected Professor Budberg, Most distinguished Professor Chen, Wrong Honorable Professor Milosz Who wrote poems in some unheard-of tongue. Who will count them anyway. And here sunlight. So that the flames of their tall candles fade. And how many generations of hummingbirds keep them company As they walk on. Across the magic mountain. And the fog from the ocean is cool, for once again it is July.
Berkeley, 1975
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[11 Nov 2009|06:20pm] |
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[09 Nov 2009|12:12pm] |
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| At a crossroads. |
[08 Nov 2009|07:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Library light. |
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music |
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Pages shuffle and lights hum. |
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If I buy a SNES USB controller my plans for January will be waylaid by hours upon hours of Mother, Chrono Trigger, and Link to the Past.
In other news, Hampshire College is an exceedingly fucked up place. The academics are great, everything else is a poob-hole's morning breath. Maybe I'll take a bus across the country this January instead of going to the cape. Maybe I'll take the bus to see potential transfer colleges.
Potential Transfer Colleges:
*Colorado College *Evergreen State College *Temple University *New School
If anybody was a writing [poetry] or [comp.-ish] lit. major and had wonderful experiences with their undergrad institution please let me know.
This is mostly a slow mounting temporary thing. But if next semester continues along this path, I could very well see myself transferring.
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[08 Nov 2009|03:28pm] |
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[07 Nov 2009|08:14pm] |
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[06 Nov 2009|10:22pm] |
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I find myself in a library inside a library at Wesleyan University.
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